I don’t know if I could ever have imagined the enormous response and outpouring of support over last week’s Breaking Up with Beachbody post!! Thank you all so much!! Knowing you all not only related to where I was coming from, but caught my humor was awesome!!!
A dear friend and reader shared a perspective with me in a personal message (apparently many of my readers were hesitant to share their thoughts on the post publicly due to friends who are beachbody coaches) that I thought really needed to be out there. I hadn’t even thought about much of what she’d shared and would have been heartbroken to know I was contributing to a new mama’s grief.
- Not everyone is open with their feelings
- When we are careless with our post, we can be hurting people
- If we are not making the kind of money it takes to support our family then we have to be careful not to act like we are. (This is a special note to all my direct sales
So…I will share this letter with permission and I hope you will see what I see…a woman who needs your encouragement…who may be in your circle of friends.
Dear Mom I Want To Be,
Thank you for being real.
Thank you for being the voice of God for me at a time when I am struggling to hear Him.
Your breakup with Beachbody came when I needed to hear it most. I needed someone to tell me, it is ok to not focus entirely on your body and appearance. It is ok to not idolize an “ideal”.
Thank you for helping me to see that Beachbody, as a program and a community, fit the person I used to be too. There was a time in my life when hours at the gym and stringent nutrition was not only important to me, but closely practiced.
As a new, first-time mother, my entire existence seems poised on the fact that I am failing. For me, striving to look like the un-stretchmarked, perky, tan version of my pre-baby self, is counterproductive and impossible. Sure, I want to be healthy, so that I can keep up with my daughter, but I don’t need six pack abs and chiseled shoulders to do that. Those things take time and commitment, and frankly, the only thing I want to commit my time to, is my baby.
I have struggled with the return to my life after baby, as it pertains to my full time job, to my relationship with my husband, to my life goals and aspirations. I don’t want to leave my baby. I dread taking her to daycare. I hate missing any time with her. When friends say they were ready to return to work after maternity leave, I can’t relate.
Beachbody nearly broke me, as a person. In a social media and “selfie” driven society, the idea of “me” has really exceeded its intention. My first selfie was in a Beachbody challenge group. My coach, an actual real-life friend, would encourage everyone to post their sweaty post-workout photo, to encourage and motivate others to assimilate to the group. But with every selfie that I took and retook and obsessed over, I found emptiness, loneliness, and depression. I don’t need time to focus on “me.” I need time to learn about my little girl. I need time to reacquaint myself with my husband, as a father. I need a life where I can fulfill my purpose, as God intended.
My purpose is not to be a perfect or desirable physical body.
Every day, I watch as my “coach” friends post about how great their life is now that they can stay home with their children and “not miss out on this precious time with them.” I want that too. I want that desperately. But their circumstances are not mine.
I am the breadwinner for our family. In a situation where I should be celebrating the fact that God has given me an able body, a sharp mind, and a job which allows my family to own a home, take vacations, and get by, financially, I feel inadequate.
Mom I Want To Be, you have opened my eyes. You have comforted, consoled, and confronted me in ways that I didn’t know I needed to be.
Beachbody cannot make me feel whole, but it will not break me.
To my coach friends:
I am happy for you. I am happy that you have a life which allows you to be home. I am happy for you that you are the lowest weight and the best shape you have ever been in. I am happy that you have found something which works for you.
You don’t realize this, but your posts hurt me every day. Your message checking to see why I haven’t posted my selfie or shake photo are heard. Your canned posts and timed uploads are as transparent as glass. Beachbody isn’t the answer to my weight problems. Beachbody is your job.
I still need to get healthy, so I will continue to do some workouts. But coach, I am only doing them when they are convenient for me; when they are not during times I can spend with my baby. I am not going to be checking in every day. I am not going to let your words affect me anymore. For now, I am going to live a little more like a friend of mine. A Mom I Want To Be like.
Don’t forget to join us on our fb community where we can have live conversations about many of these topics!! Thanks for reading and please share if you relate!!